Do you really want your lover back? Before you start working on making that happen, you should be sure you actually want it. Think rationally. If you are coming off of a bad break up, you are probably running on emotion right now. Take a timeout and think about how your life would be without your lover. Think with your brain instead of your heart. Do you truly think your life will be incomplete without your ex boy/girlfriend? Or will you be better off instead? After taking some time to reflect, if you still want to be reunited with your ex boyfriend/girlfriend, here are some ideas: Do not chase or pester your ex boyfriend/girlfriend. This will only be counterproductive. Sending message after message will get you nowhere. Sending gifts is just as bad, or worse. Do you really want your ex boy/girlfriend annoyed with you or to appear pitiful? They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, so one of the best ways to get your ex back is to take a break from her/him for awhile. Before contacting your ex again, build up your self-worth. Find value in yourself with whatever it takes. Often, people let themselves go after a breakup. Your lover should be impressed the next time s/he sees you, so don't make this mistake. Do not let your lover know you've been moping and try not to do it regardless. Set your status on Facebook to something positive. Joke around with mutual friends; if your ex boy/girlfriend asks them about you, they can tell him/her that you have been doing fine. If your ex boy/girlfriend thinks you are happy, then questions about whether the break up was bad will linger. Keep the negatives about your breakup (and your ex boyfriend/girlfriend) close and don't broadcast them. Be the person that your ex boy/girlfriend fell in love with in the beginning. You attract your ex's attention for a reason, right? Bring back the qualities that made you attractive to your lover. Invite your ex to a casual get-together, preferably involving mutual friends. Try to avoid a "date" atmosphere and relationship-centered talk by bringing mutual friends to keep it casual. Make sure you are not coming off as needy. Be yourself and pay an equal amount of attention to everyone there. Try to keep the situation as comfortable for your ex boy/girlfriend as you can. While you shouldn't bombard your lover with messages, it's okay to send one every now and then. Just send a casual, "how's it going?" or "Just thought I'd say hi." message. This is a casual way to invite your ex boy/girlfriend into a conversation. Be subtle. Do not make it obvious that you’re trying to win him/her back. There are different ways to get your ex boyfriend/girlfriend back, and no matter which techniques you try, you need to use subtlety. Do not make it obvious to your lover that you're only trying to get his/her attention. Don't get involved in a new relationship of your lover's, if she/he has one, especially by allowing you to be the object of his/her cheating. Don't take back your ex boy/girlfriend until the new fling is gone. Being involved in cheating with your lover against the other person hurts everyone, not just the new fling. Do you really want to be part of the lies? If you want the magic of making up, you'll follow these strategies. Even if you don't end up reconciling after everything is said and done, at least you will have more confidence in yourself thanks to these tips!